My nonexistent soul mate

I just finished watching Friends with Kids and can honestly say it was the most beautiful film I’ve seen in a while. I cried the entire last half of the movie. And when Adam Scott says that the romantic part about being in love is creating a family together?? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I couldn’t even control the sobs at that point.

Needless to say, this movie ruined my life. And can be added to the list of unrealistic expectations I’ve inherited from the wonderful world of Hollywood.

I have always been the person who acts so anti-relationship and anti-love. “Go be a woman and pave your own way and don’t get married until you are at least 27!” But deep down I believed in and hoped that one day I would find my “one true love” as I believe most women do.

It would be such a cute scene when me and my personalized Mr. Right finally met. We spot each other from across the coffee shop, a Bright Eyes ballad is whispering over the speakers, we accidentally bump into each other as we get into the elevator, make out like crazy, and from that moment on, both know that we were meant to live happily ever after.

Well I’m calling bullshit on myself because that’s all that is. Soul mates don’t exist. Period. The only way relationships work, is if both of the partners continually put effort into the marriage. And out of 7 billion people there isn’t one special person out there for you.

The thing that sucks is there are girls that seem to know all the right things to say to boys, the perfect way to play the game, the perfect way to get low in the club, and those are the girls that are given a city-wide selection of “soul mates”. Those are the girls that people write movies and novels about. The cute little girl from Brooklyn who has perfect blonde hair and is kind of a tom boy and she never gets nervous around boys because she’s always been one of the boys and she can eat 20 pizzas and still fit into her size 0 jeggings and wow she’s a ballet teacher? That’s adorable and oh my goodness what is happening? Look she accidentally fell in love with her best friend and guess what he’s always loved her OMG SOUL MATES HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

I think maybe it’s too late at night for me to be posting. Well… I know it’s too late. And you know what, all this depression is probably just my lack of sleep talking, but all I have to say is the struggle is freaking real. It’s harder than anything to be a single girl in a town where everyone is getting married and you would love to meet the love of your life but it’s just not happening right now and your family feels like you are doing something wrong in the love and relationship department so they think it’s appropriate to tell you every couple of days how you need to be moving your life towards marriage but apparently they don’t know how impossible it is to move towards marriage without your “soulmate” by your side. And you know what, sometimes you are just in love with your best friend and in real life the best friends never love you back. So instead of going out on a Friday night you sit in and watch movies that give you the false impression that there is hope and that love exists out there in the big scary world.

When in reality, it just doesn’t.


Screenplays and sweatpants

There is nothing better than getting home from work and slipping into sweats. I don’t know if anything will ever make me happier than that.
I can’t believe I have been doing so well at blogging lately. I realize I haven’t been saying anything important but I have been recording my everyday activities which is what I was hoping to accomplish. No, I haven’t been doing good at saving my money or eating clean, but I think I only have a certain amount of willpower each day so right now I’m using it to stay motivated writing.
I’m obsessed with reading screenplays and the more of them I read, the more I realize that I think much more like a screenwriter than a novelist. So last night I sat up to my computer and started writing my first script. I’m so excited to work on it! And also I found the script to Warm Bodies so brb I’m gonna go spend the rest of my night devouring it.


Hugs and kisses

I’ll be fearless tomorrow

So there I am, just peacefully going to the bathroom as I scroll through my Instagram feed (don’t act like you don’t do it) when all the sudden I see a cockroach out of the corner of my eye making a quick scurry towards me in all my innocence. In my mind I thought, this is 2014, you aren’t afraid of anything this year, remember? Well that was definitely wrong. I don’t think anything has ever been more wrong.

I don’t really know what the moral of this story is but it was freakin scary and I hope I never have to experience a bug invasion when using the ladies room. And I guess the other moral of this story is I shouldn’t pretend I’m not afraid of stupid rude cockroaches because I always will be. Here’s a picture of the little guy who thought it was appropriate to walk in on me. I actually had to be way brave and get close to him when snapping this pic so yay for me and my courage.


I think his name should be Stanley. Doesn’t he look like a Stanley? When I kicked him away from me he flipped over onto his back and tried to flip back over like crazy for about ten seconds, but after no success he just folded his legs in towards his tummy and laid there defeated. It was actually so sad. But unfortunately I hated him and had to leave him there to die. Sorry PETA

No title because of boredom

So I made a new years resolution to blog once a week. At first it was once a day, but I then realized that was an unrealistic goal. And I’m coming to realize that posting once a week is going to be a little bit harder than I thought too. Unfortunately my creativity doesn’t run on a set schedule and I can’t just pop an idea for a post out weekly. But I’m just going to do it. At least once a week I’ll start writing and hopefully the words will come out. I’ve already written a small paragraph and it required little use of my dried up creativity basin. And the thing is, when I made the goal to blog weekly, I more wanted a blog to keep track of my life, not because I wanna be famous and have tons of readers. Actually, the thought of having “readers” kind of stresses me out and I can already feel myself filtering through my thoughts trying to only say cute and funny stuff. So like if you’re reading this, go away! Ha jk, stay here, I love you

I just discovered my new role model. Go check out Honestly I can’t stop reading his articles. So many great tips that I can’t wait to try out. You really need to go check his website but only go there if you are willing to spend the rest of your night glued to your laptop.

I’ve been lousy at following through with my goals. To be honest, I actually just had to go reread what they were. Haha major whoops. But tomorrow is a new day and I’m ready to make it count.

The Secret Life of Walter Mitty was nothing short of life-changing, I kid you not. I saw it 3 times within less than 48 hours. If you haven’t seen it, you must. And holy smokes Ben Stiller is my new crush. And when I say crush I mean that he’s my new oh-my-goodness-no-man-will-ever-mean-more-to-me-than-him. And that’s an understatement. The show was so inspiring and nothing has ever left me more excited to stop dreaming and start living.



A couple nights later I watched The Spectacular Now. I had hopes of it being inspiring as well. I read reviews of it and was really excited to see another movie that would leave me excited to be alive. Well… this one I didn’t enjoy nearly as much. I might need to see it once again with a more open mind, but it left me definitely more depressed than inspired. But Sutter (spelling?) was hecka cute and his gf (forgetting her name at the moment) was also a cutie.

I’m going to try the whole fasting lifestyle craze. Eat 8 hours, fast for 16. Repeat. I do this a lot already but I’m not very strict about it. I’ve found though, if I don’t eat breakfast I tend to not get hungry until around noon, whereas if I grab a small breakfast, around 10:30 I’m already starving. We’ll see how long this lasts, but I think it might be something I’m able to stick with. I’m going to California (and maybe NYC?) in March and I need to get that bikini body ready lolz.

My latest hobby has been trying to catch Friends on TV. It’s not on Netflix or Hulu which is so depressing because I’m addicted. It’s sort of a problem. And the fact that it’s only on really late at night is not helping with my sleeping habits. But if I’m not watching Friends then I’m watching Full House with my 8 year old sister Meg. She is so addicted and it’s hilarious. She knows almost all the cast names and talks about it non-stop. I’ve taught her well. One of my favorite moments is when I said “Jesse is so cute huh?” and she said “Wait ’til you see him in a white V-neck!” Touché Meg. Touché.


Also I have the biggest girl crush on Becky. Her hair is so fab.


Sorry that this post is so horribly visually. I’m too bored to crop the pictures to the same size and I’m sure no one cares so welcome to my happy bored life with a fugly bored blog lol.

Oh also, I’m moving out in a couple weeks. And I just decided randomly on Friday. But I honestly feel so good about it and it will be great to have some independence. This will be my first time living on my own so carpe diem let’s hope I don’t die. I’ll probably whine in the weeks to come about my poorness and lack of milk and shampoo and stuff.

Alright I’m signing off because I have to go to work early tomorrow. Not to mention the huge pile of laundry sitting on my bed that I need to fold before I go to sleep. Ugh



PS the Walter Mitty soundtrack is almost as good as the movie. I can’t stop listening to Dirty Paws by Of Monsters And Men. I’m not usually a huge fan of them but after they soundtracked my man trekking through the wild I couldn’t help but fall in love. Go listen. k laterz skaterz