My nonexistent soul mate

I just finished watching Friends with Kids and can honestly say it was the most beautiful film I’ve seen in a while. I cried the entire last half of the movie. And when Adam Scott says that the romantic part about being in love is creating a family together?? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I couldn’t even control the sobs at that point.

Needless to say, this movie ruined my life. And can be added to the list of unrealistic expectations I’ve inherited from the wonderful world of Hollywood.

I have always been the person who acts so anti-relationship and anti-love. “Go be a woman and pave your own way and don’t get married until you are at least 27!” But deep down I believed in and hoped that one day I would find my “one true love” as I believe most women do.

It would be such a cute scene when me and my personalized Mr. Right finally met. We spot each other from across the coffee shop, a Bright Eyes ballad is whispering over the speakers, we accidentally bump into each other as we get into the elevator, make out like crazy, and from that moment on, both know that we were meant to live happily ever after.

Well I’m calling bullshit on myself because that’s all that is. Soul mates don’t exist. Period. The only way relationships work, is if both of the partners continually put effort into the marriage. And out of 7 billion people there isn’t one special person out there for you.

The thing that sucks is there are girls that seem to know all the right things to say to boys, the perfect way to play the game, the perfect way to get low in the club, and those are the girls that are given a city-wide selection of “soul mates”. Those are the girls that people write movies and novels about. The cute little girl from Brooklyn who has perfect blonde hair and is kind of a tom boy and she never gets nervous around boys because she’s always been one of the boys and she can eat 20 pizzas and still fit into her size 0 jeggings and wow she’s a ballet teacher? That’s adorable and oh my goodness what is happening? Look she accidentally fell in love with her best friend and guess what he’s always loved her OMG SOUL MATES HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

I think maybe it’s too late at night for me to be posting. Well… I know it’s too late. And you know what, all this depression is probably just my lack of sleep talking, but all I have to say is the struggle is freaking real. It’s harder than anything to be a single girl in a town where everyone is getting married and you would love to meet the love of your life but it’s just not happening right now and your family feels like you are doing something wrong in the love and relationship department so they think it’s appropriate to tell you every couple of days how you need to be moving your life towards marriage but apparently they don’t know how impossible it is to move towards marriage without your “soulmate” by your side. And you know what, sometimes you are just in love with your best friend and in real life the best friends never love you back. So instead of going out on a Friday night you sit in and watch movies that give you the false impression that there is hope and that love exists out there in the big scary world.

When in reality, it just doesn’t.

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